JORDAN: Katie Price in drugs and suicide hell

GUILT-RIDDEN glamour girl Jordan feared she was about to DIE after secretly taking illegal drugs behind husband Peter Andre's back.

The superstar model sensationally admitted the furtive binge made her heart race so fast she panicked and had to own up to Peter, sobbing: "I think I'm dying!"

In a series of shocking revelations, 29-year-old Jordan also revealed how the drama sparked:

• ROWS that pushed her to the edge of suicide.
• THREATS that Peter would leave her and take their baby son.
• DEEPER post-natal depression that put her off sex for months.

The confession comes in Jordan's long-awaited and just-published autobiography Pushed To The Limit.

But the mum of three is still so ashamed of taking the drug, she doesn't even name it and refuses to say if it was cocaine.

Jordan, real name Katie Price, knew from the start she was risking everything.

Peter is staunchly anti-drugs and had warned her he would only ever divorce her if she were unfaithful—or took drugs.

Nevertheless Jordan says she took that chance after reaching rock bottom with post-natal depression following the birth of son Junior.

Pop star Peter was working on his music in their home studio and sad Jordan went upstairs, telling him that she wanted to try on some outfits.

But once she was alone in her bedroom the darkness descended as she sat pondering her plight.

That was the awful moment she deliberately reached out for her handbag and grasped a small package.

It had arrived through an old friend from Jordan's clubbing days—in response to a plea for something, anything, to relieve her depression.

Jordan recalled: "I'm so ashamed of what happened next.

"After I'd taken it I thought, ‘This feels good' and I took some more." But then the drug took over. "My heart seemed to be racing fast, I felt hot and I began to panic," she said.

"Oh my God, had I overdosed? Was I going to die?"

Despite everything, Jordan tried to get her act together and rejoined Pete, 34, downstairs, determined to behave like everything was fine.

But when they went to bed Jordan lay awake, tortured by visions of impending death. Her pulse was still racing and she couldn't stop shaking.

But when Peter asked if she was all right, she lied and claimed she was definitely OK.

Eventually the fears were so overwhelming Jordan just had to own up and blurted it all out. She told Peter: "I know you'll divorce me, but I have to tell you...I've just taken some drugs."

Her disgusted husband jumped out of bed and shouted: "My God, that's it! That's the end of us!"

They called out a doctor who lived nearby and told him everything.

Bust-up

But after checking Jordan over he reassured her she was going to be fine.

With the doc gone, Jordan begged Peter not to leave her and promised him she would never take drugs again.

But he told her: "You're going to be an unfit mother and I can't be around you. I'm taking Junior!"

After a blazing bust-up Jordan stomped out of the house at 2am screeching: "If you don't want me, I'm going! And I'm never coming back!"

She drove off in tears. But at the bottom of the road she pulled into a car park and contemplated doing away with herself. Jordan admits: "I seriously thought, ‘Shall I end it all now? Drive into this wall and kill myself?'"

But after a while she calmed down and now sees her drug-taking episode as a desperate cry for help.

Jordan—named Celebrity Mum of the Year—tells how she had suffered from PND ever since Junior was born in June, 2005.

She had felt a complete flop as she struggled to bond with her son but believed she couldn't tell anyone because she was so ashamed of her feelings.

In desperation she went to The Priory clinic and was prescribed anti-depressants.

But she took a higher dosage which ruined her sex drive and made her push Peter away. And she ended up having a series of blazing rows—plus separate bedrooms—after REFUSING to have sex with him.

Jordan's startling confessions come just two weeks after the News of the World exposed her shocking booze binges, sex games and jealous rages.

Jealous

Now her bombshell new book's revelations back up the story of former nanny Becky Gauld, who was sacked in front of millions on the couple's TV show, The Baby Diaries, for taking a holiday.

After winning an industrial tribunal case for unfair dismissal, 25-year-old Becky told us: "Their life is very different to the one on TV.

"The reality is Jordan's NOT the perfect mum. The only thing they ever do as a family is photo shoots."

Party girl Jordan even admits she teasingly dragged David Beckham's bisexual ex Rebecca Loos off to the ladies' toilets at a fancy Chinese New Year bash thrown by socialite Andy Wong—just to make Peter jealous.

Jordan insists there was no lesbian romping involved, only 15 minutes gossiping with the girls about fashion and make-up.

But the ploy still wound Peter up badly.

Now Jordan admits that just four months after marrying in September, 2005, the couple came close to splitting up over her moody ways and zero love life.

Whenever Pete suggested sex, Jordan would say: "No, I don't want to."

And if he said he was feeling horny, she would coldly snap: "Go and have a w*** then, because I'm not doing anything!"

Eventually Jordan weaned herself off the medication, the bedroom was back in business and daughter Princess Tiaamii was born in June last year.

Agony

But the proud mum of three reveals how, just days after giving birth, the massive mood swings RETURNED and Peter again threatened to leave.

Jordan begged him to stay and, despite her agony, decided to bring things to a head, tearfully warning him:

"If this is really what you want, I'm going to call a solicitor first thing tomorrow and file for divorce."

Pete insisted he didn't want a divorce, just a separation.

But she stood her ground and said firmly: "No, Pete. You either want to be with me or you don't. And if you don't, then I'll divorce you."

In the end Peter was won round and later apologised.

And now, after just three years together, the couple plan to renew their marriage vows, with Jordan even pledging to take Pete's surname.

She said: "I know it seems soon but we've already been through what most people experience in a lifetime. It would be a celebration of our love and a new start."